Cage to Cops: I'll Go Straight — Marry Me!

Notorious Con Man Proposes to Officers After Botched Robbery

Raising Arizona Not Streaming on Popular Platforms

In a bizarre turn of events, notorious convenience store bandit Nicolas Cage has proposed marriage to the police officers who apprehended him after a botched robbery attempt. Cage, known for his eccentric behavior and string of armed robberies, surprised officers by dropping to one knee in the interrogation room and popping the question.

While the officers were initially taken aback, Cage pleaded his case, vowing to leave his criminal past behind and start a new life with one of them. He even cited his past role in the beloved film Raising Arizona as proof of his love for children and family.

However, Cage's proposal has been met with a resounding "no" from the police department. Chief of Police Emily Carter stated, "While we appreciate Mr. Cage's newfound desire for redemption, we cannot condone his past actions. Our officers are sworn to uphold the law, and marrying a convicted criminal would undermine the integrity of our department."

Meanwhile, it has been confirmed that Raising Arizona is not currently streaming on Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, or HBO Max. The film is, however, available for rent or purchase on Vudu, Microsoft Store, and Spectrum On.